Being scared of labour is understandable as it is known to be painful, and unpredictable. Also, women can be nervous about their undignified behaviour in the labour room. Or they can have fear of epidural or c-section. On top of all that, there are many childbirth stories around us, that does not portray a pretty picture of the process. Therefore, every first-time pregnant woman has some sort of anxiety around delivering a baby. Some women have an extreme fear of giving birth, which is known as Tokophobia.
So is there anything you can do to overcome your anxiety or fear of delivering your baby? yes, you can. It requires looking at childbirth from a different perspective.
Childbirth is not the most painful thing
Many first-time pregnant women believe that childbirth is the worst pain anyone can ever feel. This belief makes them fear labour. However, this fear is not based on facts, because there’re more painful conditions.
- The broken thigh bone: People with the femur fracture almost always have to go through a surgery to fix it. Orthopaedic surgeons use metal pins, screws, rods to put the femur bone back together. Recovery can take 6 months or more. Usually, doctors suggest leg movement and putting weight on the injured leg to avoid other problems. Patients have to take strong pain medication for months. I have worked in the hospital and I have seen the strongest man in the town crying like a child due to pain. If you compare this to labour, most of the women recover within days after standard vaginal childbirth.
- Rib fracture: We all know fractured bone hurts. But if a person has rib fracture every breath, hiccup, sneeze and cough become torture. The main treatment is pain management and strict preventive measures are taken to reduce further internal injury. In comparison to childbirth recovery, a rib fracture takes a very long time to heal.
- Kidney stone: Tiny kidney stone have to be passed through the urinary tract. And these tiny pieces takes its sweet time to come out. That means you may have to wait for a long time before it comes out. I have seen otherwise very tough and tenacious men rolling on the floor with kidney stone pain. Your body is not made to pee stones but it is made to birth a baby.
- Gallbladder stone: Gallbladder is a small organ in our body that sits under the liver. It stores bile acid. Sometimes this acid crystalized and in many, these crystals go unnoticed. But for others, they cause serious pain. The gallbladder pain is acute and comes in waves. In high school, one of my classmates used to get these painful episodes. I remember she used to scream with pain and faint sometimes. It carried on for a few years but finally, she had to go through surgery. Whereas, within two years time, a woman can conceive, complete the gestation period, give birth to her baby, recover completely and get back in shape.
- Surgery: Many surgeries also take much longer to recover than childbirth. Even dental surgery such as tooth extraction.
You might say now that it’s not an apple to apple comparison. True, but so is true for childbirth. Every woman has a different experience during childbirth. Even the same woman have different experiences during each of her child’s birth. You will find many wonderful childbirth stories around you. Focus on them. And one day you might be sharing your positive birth story with someone.
Where the mind goes the body follows
In other words, “expectation shapes our reality”. You must have heard of the placebo effect. If not let me explain. Let’s say a patient visit a doctor to get treatment for some chronic pain. The doctor gives her a sugar pill (instead of a real pain killer) saying that it is a strong pain killer and it will relieve the pain. Patient goes home take the medicine ( the sugar pills) and after few days report that pain is reduced significantly. Then this is called placebo effect of that fake medicine on the patient. The placebo effect is a well known scientific theory and extensively used in medical research. It has been particularly effective in pain management. The placebo effect proves our brain’s role in our physical health. So if you strongly believe that labour is going to hurt a lot then it will. But if you experience it without any fear and presumptions, then it might find it to be a bearable process. Many women after childbirth reported that labour is painful but not as bad as its reputation in the market.
Reconceptualize pain in your mind
Let’s take an example of athletes, fitness enthusiast or body builders. For them muscles pain is the source of pride. They view muscle pain that develops within 48 hours after a good workout as a mark of a successful session. They bring this physical pain upon themselves, by religiously following a strenuous workout session week after week. This pain has a purpose in their life – it symbolises stronger muscle development, better endurance, a higher level of fitness and more strength. I am one of those fitness enthusiasts who actually enjoys muscle pain, after a good work out. You feel the constant pain in your leg and core muscles. It hurts every time I get up or sit down and take stairs. In the morning, I feel stiff and feverish. I call it bitter-sweet pain. Sometimes this pain stays for a few days and yet I am able to enjoy it. That is because I have changed my association with this kind of pain. I see this pain in a positive light. Now if you have experienced after-workout- muscle-pains, you would argue,” it’s not comparable to childbirth pain”. You are right, it is not. However, we can connect labour pain with success, achievement and a beautiful reward ( your baby) after this exhausting marathon of childbirth. When you are focused on the reward you don’t fear the means to achieve the honour.
Understand the true nature of labour pains
When I was reading about childbirth and labour, I wondered how many women, who fear labour, actually understand the details of the childbirth process and real nature of labour pain
- The first stage (latent phase): In this contraction starts and cervix dilate. It won’t be like you are in agony as soon as you are in labour and it will continue till the baby is born. That is not true, there is a resting period after each contraction. Let’s say you might start having contraction every 20 minutes and each contraction lasts for about 1 minute. Which mean after each contraction you will be normal for 20 minutes. If you are not scared or panicked by the thought of being in labour or pain, you can use this time to eat, drink, rest, restore your energy, talk to your family, walk around, watch TV, take shower etc. Frequency of these contractions changes as you progress into labour. The rest period will get shorter but you will have them to catch your breath. Usually, the midwife will suggest you come to the hospital when contractions are four to five minutes apart, lasts for 1 minute and it’s going on like this for at least one hour. Even this part of the first phase you will be in the pain for only 12 minutes out of 60 minutes. Moreover, contraction itself comes in waves, it will develop, peak and finally calm down. The most pain you feel just for a few seconds when it peaks. Rest of it is manageable. That where breathing techniques comes handy. The point in case, most of the time you will be actually pain-free during the labour. During the rest period, you may feel other sensation in the body due to physiological changes and hormonal rush, but you will not be suffering from acute pain.
- The second stage (the active phase): in this stage, your cervix is fully dilated and you give birth to your baby. You can be in this stage for, anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. As soon as the baby’s head and shoulder are out, all the hard work is done. This is an intense and short part of the labour.
- Third stage (the birth of the placenta): As soon as the baby is out, the midwife will bring the baby to your chest. Usually, the mother is so delighted to meet her baby that she feels almost nothing while delivering the placenta.
Now some of you might say, this is the standard childbirth process. There are possibilities of ifs and buts throughout the pregnancy and labour. True, there are scenarios where medical interventions are necessary. Lucky you that you are giving birth in the 21st century and childbirth was never this safe before.
Your body is well equipped to deliver a baby
A woman’s body is evolved to grow and birth a baby. Think about amazing uterus that grows from the size of an orange to the size of a large watermelon during pregnancy and shrink back to normal afterwards. Then the Braxton hicks contraction that prepares the uterus to push the baby out when its right time. The capacity of the cervix to become soft and thin to open and dilate up to 10 centimetres to let the baby out during delivery. Even the muscular organ vagina can expand enough to let the baby come out and then go back to the normal size again. And on the way out baby get good squeeze and massage that prepares their lungs for their first breath in our world. Isn’t it amazing? Control your negative thoughts and trust your body that when the time comes, nature will take its course. All you have to do is, nourish your body, stay positive and relax.
Good luck!
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